If you ever felt like you couldn’t seem to find God’s purpose for your pain or weakness, I know exactly what that feels like.
I am Mariann, Customer Support and Social Media Assistant at The Holy Mess, and I was born with a physical disability. I want to share what God has done in my life despite it. I pray that my story will remind you that your pain has a purpose.
Heart Talk with Sara: I’m thrilled for you to meet Mariann, The Holy Mess Customer Support and Social Media Assistant. You will be amazed and encouraged by her testimony.
God’s Purpose for My Disability
During my birth, it was a surprise to my parents that not only was I a girl (what they were hoping for), but I also didn’t cry. When they saw me, I was already turning purple and still hadn’t cried since I was out of the womb.
They rushed me to the hospital, and they were trying to revive me. Thankfully, while on the way to the hospital, I uttered my first cry. Since then, they have called me a “miracle baby.”
My parents thought everything was okay until they noticed that I missed some of the developmental milestones a normal toddler should have. I didn’t crawl, and as I was growing up, they also noticed that I was having a hard time walking and speaking. We went to a physical therapist when I was six years old.
Despite my physical challenges, I went to a regular public school from elementary to college. I wasn’t bullied, but there were always lingering questions in my mind about how I was different than my classmates. I felt limited because of my disability, and it became the root of my struggles.
I thought that I had to prove myself in order to be accepted as normal. I wallowed in self-pity when I couldn’t do what others could easily do.
When I was soon to graduate from college, I became incredibly anxious. I was about to go into the real world, and I worried that I might get discriminated against or that no one would hire me because of my disability.
I was also searching for my purpose. I started asking questions like,
- “Why did this happen to me?”
- “Is there any purpose for my disability?”
- “If God is perfect, why can’t He just make me like anyone else?”
Have you ever felt similar feelings due to your limitations or hardships? (Share in the comments below, because it helps to know we aren’t alone.)
God’s Purpose for Your Life
When I came to know Jesus in 2017, the first question I asked Him was about my disability. I was really curious about its purpose when I knew that He could just easily heal me.
For the first time, I read the Bible, and I was led to John 9 and the story of a man born blind. This answered my question, and I received a promise from the Lord.
When his disciples asked Jesus the reason for the man’s blindness, he answered them with a purpose.
“As he passed by, he saw a man blind from birth. And his disciples asked him, ‘Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?‘ Jesus answered, ‘It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him.’”
John 9:1-3
God’s Purpose for My Pain
I love writing, and that same year, I started my blog online called She Writes For Jesus. It was only meant to be an online journal, but God has allowed it to grow until it became my ministry.
God used that blog to open doors for me. I started receiving invitations from different churches, and I became a speaker, which is ironic because it has been one of the things I considered a weakness. I shared my testimony on 700 Club Asia and different radio programs.
Last year (2024), God opened another door, and I published my first book, Work In Progress: Navigating Life As An Adult. I am currently working on my second book, which is set to be released this year.
I realized that God has a greater purpose for our pain. Our weaknesses can be where He will highlight His strength. Our mess can become our message.
I may not have understood it before, but now, I know that God has been using my disability to display His works in me as He has promised in John 9:3.
The Holy Mess: Serving Women with God’s Love
Like I said earlier, one of my worries was that I wouldn’t be able to find work because of my disability, but God has proved me wrong again. I had no problems in terms of finding work, especially now that the virtual and remote jobs have widened the options for me.
My prayer was that I could find a position where I could share my personal mission: to draw people to Jesus. The Holy Mess is an answer to that prayer.
I am The Holy Mess Customer Support and Social Media Assistant. When I answer your emails, I have the opportunity to respond to you with a prayer and encouragement.
I also create graphic designs like THM Merchmembership workbooks, phone wallpapers, printables with Bible verses, and more.
Heart Talk with Sara: When we were hiring for Mariann’s position, we had over 300 applicants. She stood out immediately as an incredible person and the right person for the position. God was guiding us.
I pray that my story reminds you that God is sovereign, even in our pain and suffering. When we trust His purpose behind it, He can use it to accomplish things that are beyond what we can imagine or hope for.
How has God shown His power through your weakness? Tell me about it in the comments below. Let’s share and be encouraged together.
More Faith Encouragement for You
Why Does God Allow Bad Things to Happen?
Should You Ask God for a Sign?
Is Procrastination a Sin?
What Take Your Thoughts Captive Means